Ask The Experts

Career Q&A: How to deal with yo-yo emotions!

Dear Life Coach,

I am a very mild-mannered person at work. I get along well with everyone, and I have no problems controlling my temper. However, the minute I leave my work environment, my tolerance level goes out the window. For example: I would lose my temper with my boyfriend and with my family members or I would snap at innocent waiters. Why is this happening and how do I control this?

Shirley Kwan Senior Manager

Dear Shirley,

We are unique beings where we actually portray two distinct personalities, one at work and the other at home. You have obviously mastered a “professionally” desired conduct at work. Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, the monster is unleashed the moment you step out of the office.

What you need to do is to identify the emotions you are experiencing at work and resolve them before you leave the office. We tend to take our loved ones for granted, thinking “It’s okay, they will or should understand.”

But think about this, they are the ones who are the closest to you, so by right, you should be protecting them and loving them … not use them as your punching bag, right?

Here are a few tips which you can put into immediate action:

Step 1: Take slow deep breaths through your nose. Analyse your emotions and determine whether it’s worth losing your energy over them.

Step 2: Don’t sweat the small stuff . Remember, it is ALL SMALL STUFF!

Step 3: Have a supply of bubble wrap available in your office drawer or at home ; start popping away when you feel you need to calm down!

Give the above a try and good luck in mastering control over your emotions.

Zarina Zainal Vice-president – MABIC (Malaysia Association of Brand & Image Consultants, Resident life coach – Capital 89.9

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