Ask The Experts

When your boss picks on you

Question: It took me 5 years to get to this current job as a sales manager of a travel agency.

Getting this job was indeed one of my greatest achievements as I finally found something that is in sync with my values and passion. Travelling and meeting people is what I’ve always wanted to do, and I was so glad when I finally landed this job!

However, this nice feeling has been tainted with some negative feelings I am having towards my new boss.

I am trying to manage it so that it does not affect the joy and my future in this company.But I find that it is getting tougher and tougher by the day.

He picks on me for almost everything; the way I talk, the reports I do, the meetings I chair, and so forth. He seems to have a dislike for me, rather unlike my former boss whom I had a healthy relationship with.

I am not too sure of the reason behind his dislike. Perhaps he is envious of me, feels threatened by my capabilities, or it could simply be a case of clashing chemistries. Honestly, I am not sure.

As I have said earlier, I still love my job and I want to keep it at all costs. Please help me.

Setting Sun

Answer: I am glad that you are still keeping your eye on the big picture by not letting go of your bigger purpose of a career that is most fulfilling to you. It clearly demonstrates your positive outlook and focused mental strength to withstand its trials and tribulations without giving it up till now.

However, although you have the commendable virtue of perseverance, it is unfortunately not enough. Without a solution to this problem, you may have to call it a day, because no matter how strong you are, you cannot withstand the pressures and disappointment forever.

In moving forward, you will need to make a mind shift in the way you look at your situation now. Instead of reacting in a helpless manner, you will need to turn into a ‘positive aggressor’ who can and wants to take charge.

One way is to ‘trash’ this out openly with your boss in the most objective, mature, and positive tone.

Another way would involve taking a more empathetic position to be in his shoes, to closely examine what you have not done right and see how you can correct them accordingly, to be able to fit well here.

Powerful Questions You Can Ask Yourself

• What do you want to see happening?

• What does this call for your doing?

• What are you already doing to make it work?

• How can you extend this further to get to where you want?

Article by Dr Michael Heah, an ICF Master Certified Coach with